i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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