I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Princesses don't give blow jobs
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
