Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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