Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
