Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
