So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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