That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
