I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
