you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
