ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
