My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
