never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
