don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Btw I puked in your glovebox
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
