They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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