i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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