Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
