I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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