Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed

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(330): View more from Ohio

After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.

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(585): View more from New York

aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"

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(61): View more from Australia

I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could

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(217): View more from Illinois

And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day

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(616): View more from Michigan

Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5

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(727): View more from Florida

Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"

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(815): View more from Illinois

Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.

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