no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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