Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
