Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
