My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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