just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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