the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
