so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
