I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
