This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
