I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
