Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So many bounce houses so little time
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
