You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
