oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
