Whod you bang
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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