He had one of those small greek statue penises
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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