I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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