Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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