For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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