ya dads aren't the best wingmen
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I looked at my own cervix.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
