It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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