There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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