I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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