A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
