im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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