Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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