just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My vagina is officially offended.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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