I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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