well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
