You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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