U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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