Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have fence marks all over my body
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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