i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
