i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I will pee on everything he values.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
